Posted Fri 4 May 2018 10.05 by Metarie1985 Beauty standard ignorer, unapologetic P sufferer for 10 years, determined to stay positive!
Hi all,
In a nutshell, a (male) friend I'm close to also has psoriasis and isn't doing *anything* about his skin. It's driving me mad, I'm worried about him and concerned he's sort of denial about his condition.
He doesn't have a very healthy life style - is almost certainly battling with alcoholism and doesn't eat much. It's become hard to be around him, although he's always remained a very sweet guy, it's too hard to see him wasting away. But the friend group keep in touch with him and hang out fairly regularly still.
I saw him briefly last week and was shocked at how bad his skin has got. He is covered from head to toe, his finger nails are affected (have been for years, they're brown and crumbly), it's on his face...everywhere.
Over the years I've tried talking to him about treatments I've had, things I've read about that could help, forums like this one etc and the only vaguely constructive thing I've managed to get him to do is try Dream Cream from Lush. Which worked well for him apparently, but he didn't go and buy more when it ran out.
Even from the point of view of someone with P (being more sympathetic to his condition and how uncomfortable and self conscious it can make you) I'm grossed out by how bad his skin is. He was close to my ex and would often ask him why I was recommending all these treatments to him, as if he wasn't aware there was a problem. To be clear - he HAS had an official diagnosis AND his mother is a nurse. He is just burying his head in the sand. He was referred to UVB a few years ago but it interfered with his plans to go travelling in Australia so he didn't even try it, he never gets prescriptions from the doctor for it...nothing!
NOW - I know this isn't really my problem or my business. But, as a fellow sufferer, I hate to see someone's skin impacting on them more than it has to. I'm also aware of the vicious cycle of feeling bad/looking bad/feeling bad that psoriasis can get you into and I don't think it'll be doing his mental health any good if he's literally uncomfortable in his own skin.
How do I approach this guy productively to encourage him to seek help for his own good? He's been single for YEARS, girls like him but it never goes far and I can't blame them if his skin is a reason for that.
Additionally he works in a kitchen of a pub and honestly, the idea of eating food he's prepared turns my stomach. I've seen how much skin he sheds just sitting down. I can't find anything online about working with food when you have P and it in your nails too but I can't see how it's OK.
It's complicated because there are layers to this - his alcohol issues will not be helping with his mental health or his skin, but because I have P too, I feel like that's the thing I know about and could help him with, so that's what I'm trying to tackle.
Posted Fri 4 May 2018 11.46 by OhNo_NotAgain? (edited Fri 4 May 2018 12.08 by OhNo_NotAgain?)
If your friend does not want to take action, I am not sure that you can force or persuade him - any more then you can badger an alcoholic into seeking help.
I would have expected that someone with severe psoriasis on their hands ought to wear gloves if preparing or handling food.
From the FAQs section on this site:
"Some industries, such as food handling and even the NHS, sometimes have concerns over psoriasis and if it is likely to harbour infection or contaminate food and clean areas. Most of the time, this can be addressed by covering the psoriasis with dressings when at work. Do get in touch with the Psoriasis Association for more information on this or any other employment issues. "
Posted Fri 4 May 2018 13.28 by Aurora I have had a patch of psoriasis on top of my foot for over 10 years.I used to think it was athlete's foot.Now I seem to have developed psori
Hi ,
It sounds to me as if this guy is using alcohol to try and cope while not being able to face reality.He is also possibly quite depressed.The alcohol is meanwhile worsening his psoriasis as well as his mental health : a vicious circle.
One thought that comes to me is : write him a letter -a real letter,not an email and express your concern for his drinking in a calm and supportive way.
If he is doing battle with alcoholism he will not be able to accept or deal with the psoriasis until he gives up the booze.
In the letter I would emphasize to him that's there's lot of help for all his problems out there but concentrating on one at a time may be easier.
I would not discuss his psoriasis too much,other than noting that it is making his skin worse - he's probably quite aware of his appearance etc but feels unable to face it.
The best of wishes to you and your friend.
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