i need help

Im 19 now and have suffered with guttate ps since i was about 16, every time flaring from tonsillitis or something similar. honestly, for years it has been fairly controllable, with only minor little patches on unseen areas which would go away after short time periods, but im now at a point where it has become too much. my ps now covers my hands, face, back, torso, arms, legs, feet, literally head to toe and torso wise i have about 30% clear skin left. I honestly cannot cope anymore. I have nobody to talk to about my problem, doctors prescribe me constant doses of treatments which yes some do work but only to a certain degree such as betnovate which stops working when you stop using it. I have absolutely no social life anymore, and this flare up has meant i havent been to work in over 2 months, as i work in the public sector and have to wear a t shirt. im past coping and honestly the depression makes things so much worse, sometimes i just dont see why i bother and yes its pathetic but i dont want to live like this im supposed to be starting university in september and honestly dont know if i want to if im going to be a freak; im 19 and supposed to be in the prime of my life yet i cant even take off my hoody let alone have a relationship, which affects me greatly because prior to this horrible disease i had a buzzing social life and i wasnt a stranger to female company but now, its come to a point where my entire brain is noddled by this. i genuinely cant stand to even look at myself and im ashamed to admit it but smoking weed is the only thing which stops me from wanting to do something stupid, and keeps me from thinking about how disgusting i am i need an answer for this horrible disease just like we all do, and i hate to be all backwards redneck about it but pharmaceuticals arent the way to cure ourselves, lets face it the companies selling the drugs make a hell of a lot more money selling the drugs that barely do anything but give us hope as opposed to curing us. Im not really looking for any real answers with this, i guess i just needed to vent as i havent had anyone to speak to, even my parents dont understand and judge me silently, my brothers stare at my rashy hands like im a leper, i just feel quite alone with it all. i hope my pathetic basket case rambling doesnt upset anyone, but what this curse does to my mind is ungodly, and honestly i couldnt hate myself more