Fed up - any advice appreciated

I've had enough and I need to put my thoughts somewhere. Sorry for the rant! I have a well balanced, mostly vegan diet. I eat lots of ant-inflammatory foods. I take vitamin supplements daily. I exercise regularly, I'm a healthy weight. I don't smoke. I tried not drinking, it didn't make much difference, and I'm young, so I want to occasionally drink. I feel like pso already made me sacrifice so much in terms of being young - unable to wear whatever I want, unable to swim and fully enjoy the summers, feeling too ashamed to go home with interested people and reveal my true body under the clothes, constantly feeling bad about myself and having very little self-esteem as a result. After so many years of pso I feel like I'm constantly masking how I really feel. When I tell or show people, they look at me with such pity, it makes me feel worse. Or I feel like I'm making too much of a fuss when other people have much worse illnesses. I was first diagnosed with psoriasis aged 14 - It was winter and one day I woke up covered in tiny blotches that grew in size and thickness over time. After lots of back and forth I was diagnosed with guttate psoriasis and eventually received phototherapy, which cleared a good percentage of my skin - a holiday in the sun got rid of the remaining stubborn patches on my legs (legs always seem to be the parts that start and go first for me - anybody else?). By this time I was almost 16. I had occasional patches appear on my ankles and feet, nothing too bad, until I turned 21. My legs once again became dalmatian like, and I had plaques on my face for the first time. After many more months of back and forth (why do doctors always say it will go away by itself after a couple of months and prescribe nothing? I'd rather a steroid to manage it than just letting it get totally out of control) and symptoms getting worse, I received my second round of phototherapy age 23. Again, the phototherapy almost worked - I still had stubborn patches on my legs left over. I was then prescribed Enstilar foam, which cleared up the remaining patches. I was told to use Enstilar on any future flare ups or small patches - which I did for 4 years. It worked for that time, until it didn't anymore. Last summer, after a very bad sore throat, I had a huge flare up, the Enstilar did nothing. This flare up has has been up and down since then. I was prescribed 3 different steroid creams, some of which helped with managing but don't get rid of it. I'm now on a waiting list for phototherapy again but there's at least a 10 week wait. I feel so fed up. I was reading online about the connection between female hormones and pso flare ups, and realised most of the time I had minimal pso complaints I had been on the combined contraceptive pill. I have noticed my pso is more inflamed during certain points of my cycle, and I figured it's worth a shot to see if this has any impact on my skin, so I will start that prescription next week. Currently the worst pso patches are on my legs, thighs, buttocks, lower back, tummy, back of upper arms, breasts - other than my legs, areas of my body that have the most fat. No idea why this is. Other triggers for me have been sore throat and covid. And probably stress but it's hard to tell. No doctor has ever mentioned treatment other than topical steroids/phototherapy. I've never had any intolerance tests. Every time I've had blood tests there hasn't been cause for concerns. This phototherapy wait time is making me so frustrated. I would greatly appreciate any words of advice. How do you love yourself when you hate what you see? Any treatment advice? How do you deal with dismissive doctors? Would you recommend going private? How do you deal with the mental toll of pso? Any advice greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for reading.